Adult Worksheets
Interactive exercises to transform your relationships
Your Relationship Hotspot System Session 1
Identify friction points in all your key relationships
Exercise 1.1
Your Relationship Hotspot System
What are Hotspots? Hotspots are the recurring friction points in your relationships—the situations that keep causing conflict, frustration, or disconnection.
Unlike children who have hotspots imposed on them (homework, bedtime), adults CHOOSE their relationships. Your hotspots exist in partnerships, friendships, family dynamics, work relationships, and most importantly—with yourself.
Part A: Identify Your Friction Points
List the recurring conflicts or frustrations in your key relationships. Be specific about the situation, how you typically respond, and which of the 4 needs is being threatened.
💑 With Partner/Spouse
👨👩👧👦 With Family Members
👥 With Friends
💼 With Colleagues/Boss
🪞 With Yourself (Self-Sabotage Patterns)
Adults don't just have friction with others—we often violate our OWN boundaries. Identify patterns where you break promises to yourself.
✦ Now Process Your Biggest Hotspot
You've identified your friction points. Now it's time to understand the deeper need behind your most significant one.
The Mental Filter will walk you through finding which of the 4 needs is being violated — and what that means for how you respond.
Choose the hotspot that bothers you most from Part A above
🔍 Take It to Find the Need →After processing, return here to complete Part B with clarity.
Part B: Design Your 4 LAWS Response
Now that you've processed your biggest hotspot through Find the Need, you understand which Law applies. Write your new 4 LAWS response below.
Hotspot #1
Hotspot #2
Hotspot #3
Catch Them Being Good Session 1
Track positive moments in yourself and others
Exercise 1.2
Catch Them Being Good
The Principle: Where attention goes, energy flows, and that is what grows.
This exercise trains your selective attention—one of the two essential psychological tools that transforms relationships. You're learning to systematically ignore disrespect while shifting focus to give life to the good that has been getting ignored.
For Adults: You track positive moments in OTHERS and in YOURSELF. Catching yourself being good is essential for breaking self-sabotage patterns.
Part A: Catching Others Being Good
Each day, notice and record moments when people in your life demonstrate the 4 LAWS naturally. Did you acknowledge it?
| Day | Person | What They Did | Which Law? | Acknowledged? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Monday | ||||
| Tuesday | ||||
| Wednesday | ||||
| Thursday | ||||
| Friday | ||||
| Saturday | ||||
| Sunday |
Part B: Catching YOURSELF Being Good
This is where adults break self-sabotage. Notice when YOU demonstrate the 4 LAWS. Celebrate your wins.
| Day | What I Did Well | Which Law? | How Did It Feel? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Monday | |||
| Tuesday | |||
| Wednesday | |||
| Thursday | |||
| Friday | |||
| Saturday | |||
| Sunday |
Part C: Weekly Reflection
The Perspective Transformation Session 1
Reframe conflicts through the 4 LAWS lens
Exercise 1.3
The Perspective Transformation
The Power of Perspective: Most conflicts aren't about who's right—they're about unmet needs on BOTH sides. When you can see the situation through all lenses, you unlock responses that were invisible before.
This exercise helps you step out of your automatic reactions and examine conflicts with clarity.
The Conflict
Your Perspective
Their Perspective
Step into their shoes. This isn't about agreeing with them—it's about understanding.
✦ Now Process This Through Find the Need
You've seen both perspectives. Now it's time to find the real need underneath this conflict.
The Mental Filter will help you identify which of the 4 needs is being violated — and give you clarity for your transformed response.
After processing, return here to complete the remaining sections with clarity.
The 4 LAWS Perspective
Now that you've processed this through Find the Need, answer these questions with the clarity you've gained.
Your Transformed Response
Stop Feeding the Monster Session 2
Identify your reactive patterns
Exercise 2.1
Stop Feeding the Monster
The Psychological Principle: SELECTIVE ATTENTION
"Where attention goes, energy flows, and that is what grows."
Everyone has two sides. The 4 LAWS teach you to SYSTEMATICALLY ignore disrespect and SHIFT FOCUS to give life to the good that has been getting ignored. This is the engine that transforms relationships.
👹 THE MONSTER
What grows when you give it attention: reactive patterns, disrespect, negativity, drama.
- Feed it with attention → it gets stronger
- Starve it with ignoring → it withers
💎 THE PEARL
What grows when you give it attention: authentic self, goodness, talent, connection.
- Feed it with attention → it flourishes
- Ignore it → it stays hidden
The Key Insight: Most people accidentally feed the Monster by reacting to it. They give energy to exactly what should be starved. Meanwhile, the Pearl—the good that's always been there—gets ignored and stays dormant.
Part A: Identify YOUR Monster
What reactive patterns emerge when your needs get violated?
Part B: Recognize What Feeds Your Monster
What behaviors make your monster STRONGER?
Part C: Find Your Pearl Response
Instead of the monster behavior, what would your best self do?
Part D: Daily Monster/Pearl Tracking
| Day | Monster Moment | Pearl Alternative | Did I Choose Pearl? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Day 1 | |||
| Day 2 | |||
| Day 3 | |||
| Day 4 | |||
| Day 5 |
Your Respect Filter Practice Session 3
Exclude toxic, include healthy
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-2 first to unlock.
Natural Consequences Toolkit Session 3
Paint reality instead of arguing
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-2 first to unlock.
Making Things Right Session 4
Compensation in adult relationships
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-3 first to unlock.
The Earning Mindset Session 4
Smart Day design and responsibility tracking
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-3 first to unlock.
Building Your Relationship Fences Session 5
Design boundaries with adults
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-4 first to unlock.
Enforcement Practice Session 5
Robot Mode for adults
This exercise is available
Complete Sessions 1-4 first to unlock.