4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Parent Worksheets

Interactive exercises to transform your family

Welcome to your parenting practice space. These 10 exercises will help you identify hotspots with your child, design 4 LAWS responses, and build the skills to move from forced goodness to chosen goodness. Each exercise saves automatically—pick up where you left off anytime. Click any exercise to begin the transformation.
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1.1

Your Complete Hotspot System Session 1

Map dawdling & badgering hotspots with your child

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 1.1

Your Relationship Hotspot System

What are Hotspots? Hotspots are the recurring friction points in your relationships—the situations that keep causing conflict, frustration, or disconnection.

Unlike children who have hotspots imposed on them (homework, bedtime), adults CHOOSE their relationships. Your hotspots exist in partnerships, friendships, family dynamics, work relationships, and most importantly—with yourself.

Part A: Identify Your Friction Points

List the recurring conflicts or frustrations in your key relationships. Be specific about the situation, how you typically respond, and which of the 4 needs is being threatened.

💑 With Partner/Spouse

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 With Family Members

👥 With Friends

💼 With Colleagues/Boss

🪞 With Yourself (Self-Sabotage Patterns)

Adults don't just have friction with others—we often violate our OWN boundaries. Identify patterns where you break promises to yourself.

Part B: Design Your 4 LAWS Response

For your top 3 hotspots from above, write your new response using the 4 LAWS framework.

Hotspot #1

Hotspot #2

Hotspot #3

1.2

Daily Catching Them Being Good Session 1

The Attention Revolution - catch your child being good

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 1.2

Catch Them Being Good

The Principle: Where attention goes, energy flows, and that is what grows.

This exercise trains your selective attention—one of the two essential psychological tools that transforms relationships. You're learning to systematically ignore disrespect while shifting focus to give life to the good that has been getting ignored.

For Adults: You track positive moments in OTHERS and in YOURSELF. Catching yourself being good is essential for breaking self-sabotage patterns.

Part A: Catching Others Being Good

Each day, notice and record moments when people in your life demonstrate the 4 LAWS naturally. Did you acknowledge it?

Day Person What They Did Which Law? Acknowledged?
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday

Part B: Catching YOURSELF Being Good

This is where adults break self-sabotage. Notice when YOU demonstrate the 4 LAWS. Celebrate your wins.

Day What I Did Well Which Law? How Did It Feel?
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday

Part C: Weekly Reflection

1.3

The Perspective Transformation Session 1

Reframe your child.s behavior through new filters

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 1.3

The Perspective Transformation

The Power of Perspective: Most conflicts aren't about who's right—they're about unmet needs on BOTH sides. When you can see the situation through all lenses, you unlock responses that were invisible before.

This exercise helps you step out of your automatic reactions and examine conflicts with clarity.

The Conflict

Your Perspective

Their Perspective

Step into their shoes. This isn't about agreeing with them—it's about understanding.

The 4 LAWS Perspective

Now look at this with the clarity of the framework.

Your Transformed Response

2.1

Stop Feeding the Monster Session 2

Identify your reactive patterns

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 2.1

Stop Feeding the Monster

The Psychological Principle: SELECTIVE ATTENTION

"Where attention goes, energy flows, and that is what grows."

Everyone has two sides. The 4 LAWS teach you to SYSTEMATICALLY ignore disrespect and SHIFT FOCUS to give life to the good that has been getting ignored. This is the engine that transforms relationships.

👹 THE MONSTER

What grows when you give it attention: reactive patterns, disrespect, negativity, drama.

  • Feed it with attention → it gets stronger
  • Starve it with ignoring → it withers

💎 THE PEARL

What grows when you give it attention: authentic self, goodness, talent, connection.

  • Feed it with attention → it flourishes
  • Ignore it → it stays hidden

The Key Insight: Most people accidentally feed the Monster by reacting to it. They give energy to exactly what should be starved. Meanwhile, the Pearl—the good that's always been there—gets ignored and stays dormant.

Part A: Identify YOUR Monster

What reactive patterns emerge when your needs get violated?

Part B: Recognize What Feeds Your Monster

What behaviors make your monster STRONGER?

Part C: Find Your Pearl Response

Instead of the monster behavior, what would your best self do?

Part D: Daily Monster/Pearl Tracking

Day Monster Moment Pearl Alternative Did I Choose Pearl?
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
3.1

Your Respect Filter Practice Session 3

Surgical precision - include respect, exclude disrespect

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 3.1

Your Respect Filter Practice

The Law of Respect: Your attention is valuable. Not everyone earns it. The Respect Filter teaches you to EXCLUDE toxic behavior (disengage) and INCLUDE healthy behavior (fertilize with attention).

This isn't about punishment—it's about protecting your energy and growing what deserves to grow.

Part A: What to FILTER OUT (Exclude)

List behaviors or tones from others that should trigger your filter—moments when you disengage.

Part B: Practice Disengagement

Design your disengagement protocol. No drama, no explanation—just action.

My Disengagement Protocol

Part C: What to FERTILIZE (Include)

List behaviors from others that DESERVE your full attention and appreciation.

Part D: Weekly Filter Log

Track your filtering practice. Notice what you exclude and what you fertilize.

Day Filtered OUT (What/Who) Fertilized (What/Who) How Did It Go?
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
3.2

Natural Consequences Toolkit Session 3

Paint reality instead of arguing

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 3.2

Natural Consequences Toolkit

Paint Reality Instead of Arguing: When you shield someone from consequences, you deny them the chance to grow. Natural consequences are reality's teaching tool—they don't require your anger, lectures, or drama.

This exercise helps you identify where you've been enabling, and plan how to step back with love.

The Principle

❌ Enabling

Protecting someone from consequences of their choices. Makes YOU resentful and THEM dependent.

✓ Natural Consequences

Allowing reality to teach. Keeps YOU at peace and THEM empowered to choose differently.

Situation 1

Situation 2

Situation 3

Remember

  • Natural consequences are not punishment — they're reality.
  • You don't need their agreement — just your consistency.
  • They will test you — stay calm, stay firm.
  • This is love — real love respects people enough to let them grow.
4.1

Compensation Mastery Session 4

Making things right - the four skills

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 4.1

Making Things Right

The Law of Responsibility - Compensation: When rights are violated, something is owed. Real repair isn't just saying "sorry"—it's making things right through action.

This exercise helps you identify what YOU owe others, and what you're OWED—and plan appropriate compensation for both.

Part A: What Do YOU Owe?

Think of times you violated someone's rights—even unintentionally. Owning this is strength, not weakness.

Who What I Did Need Violated Made Right?

Plan Your Compensation

For unresolved situations above, plan how to make things right.

Part B: What Are YOU Owed?

Think of times others violated YOUR rights. What would help you feel whole?

Who What They Did What I Need to Feel Whole Asked For It?

Note: Sometimes you won't get compensation. The other person may refuse, be unavailable, or be incapable. In those cases, your work is acceptance—not letting their debt own you. You can still enforce boundaries going forward.

4.2

Initiative Tracking System Session 4

Smart Day design and responsibility tracking

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 4.2

The Earning Mindset + Smart Day

The Law of Responsibility - Earning: Good relationships aren't free—they're earned through consistent contribution. The same applies to your relationship with YOURSELF.

Smart Day is Dr. Bustamante's daily routine framework that makes good choices automatic. Instead of relying on willpower, you design a structure where beneficial choices are the default path.

Smart Day vs Dumb Day

😴 DUMB DAY

Slipping into mindless routine, unaware of how choices solidify into automatic patterns → mediocre future.

  • Wake up reactive
  • Scroll before thinking
  • Skip what matters
  • Crash into bed exhausted

✨ SMART DAY

Conscious design of daily structure that moves you toward your higher self → excellent future.

  • Intentional morning
  • Movement and nourishment
  • Creative expression
  • Connection and rest

The Key Insight: Each daily activity is a life decision. The goal is to make beneficial choices the default path rather than requiring constant willpower.

Part A: What Are You Earning?

In your key relationships, what do you consistently CONTRIBUTE to earn trust and respect?

Part B: Design Your Smart Day

Create your ideal daily structure—one that moves you toward your goals and honors all 4 needs.

Time Block Activity Which Need?
Morning
Midday
Afternoon
Evening

Part C: Track Your Earning

Did you EARN today? Track your consistency.

Day Earned? What I Did What I Skipped
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
5.1

Building Your Family Fences Session 5

Design boundaries with adults

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 5.1

Building Your Relationship Fences

The Law of Limits: Good fences make good neighbors—and good relationships. A boundary isn't a wall; it's clarity about where you end and others begin.

This exercise helps you inventory your rights, identify where your fences are weak, and design stronger boundaries.

Part A: Your Rights Inventory

What are YOUR fundamental rights in relationships? Complete each statement.

🛡️ SAFETY (Law of Limits)

📦 POSSESSION (Law of Responsibility)

💜 BELONGING (Law of Respect)

✨ CREATION (Law of Talent)

Part B: Where Are Your Fences Weak?

Identify relationships where your rights get violated regularly.

Relationship What Right Gets Violated? Current "Fence" Stronger Fence Needed

Part C: Build Your Fences

For each weak fence, design the boundary clearly.

Fence #1

Fence #2

5.2

Enforcement Practice Session 5

Developing your Robot Mode

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4 LAWS FOR HELPFUL PARENTING

Exercise 5.2

Enforcement Practice: Robot Mode

ROBOT MODE = Calm, emotionless boundary enforcement. No drama, no explanation, just action.

The moment you add emotion, you lose power. Robot Mode protects you from getting pulled into arguments, manipulation, or guilt. You state the boundary ONCE, then you ACT—without further discussion.

The Robot Mode Protocol

1️⃣

STATE

One time. Calm. Clear.

2️⃣

STOP

No explaining. No defending.

3️⃣

ACT

Follow through. Every time.

4️⃣

REPEAT

Same boundary. Same response.

Part A: Practice Scenarios

Write your Robot Mode response to each situation.

Scenario: Someone raises their voice at you during a disagreement.

Scenario: A family member criticizes your life choices (again).

Scenario: A friend cancels plans at the last minute (again).

Scenario: Your partner dismisses your feelings.

Part B: Your Real Scenarios

Write 3 situations from YOUR life where you need Robot Mode.

Part C: Weekly Enforcement Log

Track your Robot Mode practice. Each time you use it, you get stronger.

Day Situation Used Robot Mode? How Did It Go?
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri

Remember

  • Emotion = weakness in enforcement. Stay calm. Be boring.
  • They will test you. That's normal. Stay consistent.
  • One statement, then action. No repeating, no defending.
  • You're training them — and training yourself.