I Watched My 16-Year-Old Collapse. Here's What I Did.
The right school hadn't arrived yet. The 4 LAWS at home weren't fixing him — they were holding him. Here's what that looked like, and why it mattered more than I knew at the time.
She Thought She Was the Problem
My wife had to travel. So I ran an experiment. Remove everything she normally does for them and see what the kids are actually capable of. What happened over the next two years changed how I understood everything — including her.
The Three Loves Your Child Needs — And How Too Many Families Lose One
The school called at 2 PM. Fourth call that month. A fire drill, a kid who took off to get his coat, and a father who didn't lecture him once. What happened next is the best explanation I've ever seen of what the 4 LAWS actually looks like in real life — and why too many families lose one of the three loves their child needs. Not because they don't care. Because nobody ever showed them it was there.
I Used My Own Kids to Test My Theory
After almost 30 years of watching authoritative parenting fail the kids who needed it most, I stopped writing about the 4 LAWS and ran the experiment in my own house. I put my name on it. If my kids didn't make it, it was on me. That was over six years ago. I just got my answer.
The Night I Told My Kids to Do Whatever They Want
I sat my boys down and told them the rules were changing. "From now on, everybody does what they want, how they think is right. Your wants are sacred." My youngest's eyes went wide. "We can do what we want?" Seconds later, Michael bolted outside into the frosty New England night. His pajamas hit the porch steps. There he stood — bare as the day he was born — dancing under the stars. Then he tilted his head back and howled. I stepped outside and howled back. Two wolves in the night.