You're Not Lazy — You're Running the Wrong Operating System

I once worked with a guy named Nate who thought something was seriously wrong with him.

He couldn't get himself to go to class. Couldn't make himself do the assignments. Couldn't find the energy to do the things he knew — he knew — were the right decisions.

"I lost my motivation," he told me. "I'm lazy. I'm a loser. I'm not going to amount to anything."

He was stuck at a job that couldn't even afford him a car or a place to live. His parents had laid it out clearly: "If you want to live in this house, you need to get a career. There's no future working at a warehouse."

He agreed with them. He complied. He enrolled. But he couldn't drag himself through it. And every day he fell further behind, the voice in his head got louder — you're lazy, you're useless, you're failing at the one thing everyone says you're supposed to do.

The One Place He Came Alive

Here's what nobody was paying attention to: there was one area of Nate's life where motivation was never a problem.

His church.

Nate was gifted at piano and keyboards. He sang. He wrote songs. He performed with his church music group and got invited to churches in faraway places to share his music. When it came to his faith and his music, he was on fire — creative, focused, devoted. Nobody had to push him. Nobody had to set deadlines or threaten consequences.

That part of him ran on its own.

But everybody — including Nate — treated that part like a hobby. A nice extra. Not the real thing. The real thing was supposed to be college, a degree, a career path that made sense on paper.

The Wrong Operating System

When I looked at Nate, I didn't see a lazy person. I saw someone trying to run software that wasn't designed for his machine.

"Nate, the problem isn't procrastination. It's that this isn't your operating system."

He looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"You weren't made for that classroom. You were made for those songs and that music. The reason you can't force yourself through school isn't because you're broken — it's because your gut is screaming at you that this isn't your path. And you keep ignoring it."

"The decisions you're following aren't bad decisions. They're just not yours. Your parents want what's best for you — and they're giving you the best advice they know how to give. But the path that lights you up is the one you're already on. You just haven't given yourself permission to take it seriously."

What Changed

Nate stopped trying to be someone he wasn't. He started teaching piano lessons. He leaned into his music, his performances, his creative life. He kept his faith at the center.

And then something unexpected happened — he found a girlfriend who sang and performed the way he did. Someone who understood his world because she lived in it too.

His motivation caught fire. Not the forced kind that burns out in a week — the real kind, the kind that gets you up early because you actually want to be awake. He was volunteering to help. He was more creative and joyful than he'd ever been. He was building something that was his.

Nobody had to push him anymore. Nobody had to threaten him. He was running on his own operating system.

What This Means for You

If you're reading this and something sounds familiar — if you've been calling yourself lazy, beating yourself up for not being able to force yourself through a path that somebody else chose for you — I want you to hear this:

You might not be broken. You might just be running the wrong program.

That thing you do where time disappears — where nobody has to push you, where the energy just flows — that's not a hobby. That's not a distraction. That's your gut telling you who you are.

The people who love you gave you the best advice they had. They weren't wrong to care. But at some point, you have to stop running their operating system and start running yours.

Nate did. And everything changed.

You can too.

The 4 LAWS of Trust and Talent are four natural laws that protect what every person needs: Safety, Possession, Belonging, and Creation. When one goes missing, you shut down — no matter how much love surrounds you.

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Dr. Eduardo M. Bustamante is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 35 years of experience. He is the creator of the 4 LAWS framework and author of "The 4 LAWS of Trust and Talent." Learn more at 4lawsacademy.com.