Youth Worksheets

Mom is using threats and control. Maya might finish the homework, but she'll hate it even more next time. A helpful parent would find out WHY Maya is struggling (tired? confused? overwhelmed?) and help her solve that problem. Maybe: "Let's take a 10-minute break, then tackle it together."

Forced apologies teach kids to LIE, not to feel sorry. A better approach: Help Jake see how his sister feels. "Look at her face — she's upset. What could you do to make it better?" Let HIM choose to apologize (or help clean up). That's True Goodness.

Mom didn't just grab the tablet and say "You're done!" She explained the REASON (your eyes, your body) and offered CHOICES. This helps Emma develop her own ability to manage screen time. That's building True Goodness.

Mom means well, but Ben is learning: "When I scream, I get ALL of Mom's attention!" Next time he wants something, what will he do? Scream louder. The Monster grows. Better approach: Stay calm, say "I see you're upset. When you're calm, we can talk," and walk away. THEN give attention when he calms down — feed the Pearl.

Mia did something GOOD (creative work) and got almost no attention. Brother did something BAD and got 30 minutes of Dad's full focus. Both kids learned the wrong lesson. Better: Spend 5-10 minutes really looking at Mia's drawing, asking questions. For brother: Quick consequence (help pay for lamp), then move on — don't give the Monster a feast.

"Hey, I saw you picked up those toys without anyone asking. That was really thoughtful — you saw a problem and fixed it. That's the kind of thing that makes our home better. Thank you."

Notice: Specific praise (what she did), WHY it matters (makes home better), and genuine thanks. This feeds the Pearl!

He's venting frustration, not speaking truth about you. If you react big, you're feeding his Monster AND yours. Better: Let it pass, maybe say "I get that you're mad about the game" and move on. The insult doesn't deserve your importance.

Your friend shared something vulnerable. That deserves IMPORTANCE. You don't have to push them to talk more right now, but you can check in later: "Hey, I was thinking about what you said. How are you doing?" This is respect — giving importance to what matters.

EXCLUDE: Mean comments from people who don't know me, comparing myself to social media, little annoyances that don't really matter

INCLUDE: How my family shows love (even in small ways), my own effort and growth, friends who are there for me

Grounding doesn't FIX the window. Apology alone doesn't COST Tyler anything. But paying back $150 over 15 weeks? That teaches REAL responsibility. Tyler will think twice next time — not because he's scared of punishment, but because HE had to pay the price. That's fair.

Taking away her phone has NOTHING to do with a shirt. Fair compensation means fixing what you broke. She should try to clean it (effort!) and replace it if she can't. The hiding? That's a trust issue — she might need to earn back the right to borrow things by asking first for a while.

Ask yourself: Does the consequence CONNECT to what happened? Does it actually FIX the problem or make up for the loss? Is it something the person CAN actually do?

If yes to all three, it's probably fair!

Yes, the curfew protects Marcus's SAFETY (less risk late at night) and his need for sleep. But in a 4 LAWS family, Marcus doesn't just accept rules and hope they change "someday."

Here's the deal: If Marcus can prove he follows Laws 1, 2, and 3 — respecting rights, carrying his weight, treating people right — then Law 4 kicks in: the adults MUST encourage his choices.

Marcus could say: "I want to set my own bedtime. I'll prove I can stay up until 10pm and still be responsible — get my work done, be pleasant in the morning, follow all the Laws. Give me a chance to demonstrate it."

If he proves alignment, he earns the freedom. If he violates a Law (grades drop, attitude gets bad), the choice gets paused — not punished — until alignment is restored. That's how 4 LAWS culture works. You don't beg for freedom. You earn it through chosen alignment.

A closed door means "I want some private space right now." The knock rule protects EVERYONE's right to that — including parents! When everyone follows the same fence, it's fair and creates TRUST.

Fence: No phones at dinner → Protects: Belonging (family time)
Fence: Homework before games → Protects: Responsibility (future success)
Fence: Ask before borrowing → Protects: Possession (respecting others' stuff)
Fence: No hitting, period → Protects: Safety (everyone's body)

Good enforcement is CALM (no yelling), CONNECTED (the consequence relates to the problem), and CLEAR (they know exactly what happens). Yelling teaches fear. Doing it yourself teaches them nothing. Practice builds the habit.

Complaining makes the time feel longer AND annoys everyone. Arguing wastes more time and might lose you the privilege entirely. But accepting the limit and working efficiently? You still get to go, AND you build trust for next time. That's Culture Bearer energy.

PARENT ENFORCING: "Hey, come back. The kitchen rule is clean up after yourself. Take care of this before you do anything else."

KID OBEYING: "Oh, you're right. Sorry about that." Then go clean it up without attitude.

Notice: Parent is calm and specific. Kid accepts and acts. No drama. That's how Culture Bearers roll.